Missing a quiet and grounded life...

Yes, I miss having a quiet night at home...
Unlike a lot people I know, I love being at home, alone, and quiet... By doing that, I feel like I am balanced, grounded and productive... Going out is fun while it lasts, but not having a lot of things done makes my life seem chaotic. Since my physical life is chaotic, my mental life is heading that way as well. When my life, both physical and mental is chaotic, I can not be as productive as I would like. I do not like this feeling a bit...
I always think I would slow down when I was 35 along with all other dreams and hopes... Every thing is so not in my control. Changing my life style to fit my current situation is the only thing I can do now...
I am going to be more grounded and grew up in some senses.
I am going to practice when I visit my parents in Houston in the next couple weeks. I am going to read more and think more, not talk more...LOL.
This is the first step in the process. I am having an early new year resolution...

As my friend Lauren puts it, this week has gone by so fast

It has been a week since my very short last entry... I am not the mood to write or do any thing... My mind is still spinning around with all of these life problems... from job, family (my ex brother in law...), my relationship, my projects... It is getting harder to get up in the morning and to get the necessary energy to be productive... I feel useless, powerless, uninspired a lot when facing the computer screen for so long and not be able to do any work... I wish I had the energy, the life of a year ago... Wishing for the past is not a healthy way to live, but it is all I have got, at least for now... I wish things are not as chaotic as now... I have to find more balance in life... starting now...
My friend, Robert, told me about this book by Thich Nhat Hanh, I am going to read it... I am hoping for some calming in mind and in life.

Despair...

Do not despair...

What is on my mind today?

Happy, being happy, happiness... It is like if I said (in this case, wrote) enough, it will come true...

Catalogue

The catalogue for Giaviet Interior is coming along...
With this project is coming to an end, I am going to start on a new project.
Is it life journey a series of projects? Yes, even when I try to be spontaneous, that is a project - a planned item too. So, what does spontaneity truly mean? This is the question I am going to observe today.
Forget about spontaneity for a second, I want to focus a little bit on my next projects.
I have two projects for now.
One is finishing up my portfolio, printing them out, and assembling them - all 100 of them.
The other project is more like invisible... I am going to examine my way of living, thinking and trying to simplify it. I have been thinking about doing this for so long, never get to do it, primarily blamed my abundance life. As reading Davey today, it gives me a courage to do it... Wish me luck...

sleepless...

It is 5 in the morning, and yes, can not sleep...
Something on my mind... as of now, I am trying to rethink my life... What a process!
I have been to busy with the this aspect of my life and totally forget about other aspects...
I need to bring balance back...
Any advices?
There are a lot of books about architecture and Nguyen Ngoc Tu waiting for me to read...
I need to bury myself in there, for now, any distraction is appreciated...

Sanity...

I want my sanity back...
This roller coaster ride is fun while it lasts... but too much baggage...
Bad karma, who wants that?
I rethink about the purposes of love... both soothes and wounds... and I so do not want my happiness building on somebody else's unhappiness...

Falling...

I am falling...

Torn...

I am torn with decisions between the right thing to do and feeling...
Any advice?

Think...

Love and Lust, what a difference!

Whatever!

I need both love and sex...
Sex without love is too easy but not fulfilling...
Love without sex is torture, unreal in general...
I would like to have both.
If not, love is what I would rather have...
That is all...

Gia Viet

I have promised my friend, Vuong and his wife to redesign their catalogue for some months now... I have certain ideas but it is difficult to get me started... I am getting very bad lately... too lazy is what I meant... not the kind of bad that are fun...
I am going to start working on it as soon as I finish writing this entry... I promise.
I hope I will have it done by the end of this month and I am going to publish it on here... something to make me proud and get me going again about design, architecture and life in general... I have postponed my life and put it on hold for too long...
Maybe the date on Thursday and this catalogue are what I need to get me believe again.
Wish me luck...
Good luck, Hiet.

Hope...

I have been chatting with this person a lot lately... I can not wait to go on our first date on Thursday... I learn not to expect too much, but something about this person gives me hope and gets me excited about dating again...
It does take a lot for me to go on date now a day, and I have a solid track record of sabotaging my relationships.
Cross my fingers on this one!
I do not know how it turns out, but I do love the feelings I am having right now. Excite, worry, happy, fear... are all weaving...

Feeling...

The sun is out today...
I woke up late this morning, looked outside and saw the sun... I surprised at myself since I could feel that good just by seeing the sun. Is it like seeing an old dear friend? Living in MN for a long time, I learn to appreciate seasons, especially seasons with a lot of the sun's presence...
Arts, seasons, the sun... are just wonderful. They have the abilities to transcend...

July 4th, 2009

I have wanted to start a blog for a long time, but never get to do it until today...
Today is holiday. Waking up in the morning with no plan, insert a new CD, open a half read book and still feel some emptiness... If you know me, usually, that is enough for me, but not today...
Today! Does today mean anything? Of course it means a lot, and there are a lot to do also... See, I contradict myself already... no plan but a lot to do... because deep down in my mind, I know I have to do a lot today and tomorrow and the day after tomorrow and so on, but still no plan... Where to start and what to start?
I hope for a better day, tomorrow... I hope I will have a clear plan by tomorrow... Now, I just enjoy the moments of being empty and do nothing... It is a holiday after all... And the sun was on for a second and now it is about to rain... Talking about mood swing...