Dear E,
I could be mad, but I decide not to do that since I do not want any of that bad energy rubbing on me.
I am just disappointed, plain and pure disappointment in you and in me for allowing you treating me this way.
One thing I know for sure, if this is where you and I are heading, I am out. I can not even use the word WE here since you do not want a WE so there is no WE.
I try to understand you, everything about you and around you, because I think you are special and I like you. But the more I tried to do all that, the more you pulled away. You said I was too direct, I came on too strong, I was too into you, I focused too much on you, I gave you too much attention and you scared... You are scared because... ? What do you want? Do you want me to be not into you, not to care or focus or pay any attention to you, or even to treat you bad? I could do all of those, but why would I want to do that to a friend, especially to you? Or why would you want that from a guy anyway?
There was my eureka moment: you are not into me at all. I have to believe that otherwise that means you have serious issues. If you were into me, you would appreciate my approach, you would feel happy and special.
I take it back. I am so angry right now. I have never been this angry ever and you bring that kind of emotion out on me. What did I do to you to deserve the way you treat me?
I try to forget and forgive so I can be with you. Only you can be so blind, so selfish and so self absorb in order not to see any of those... You let me wait outside your house for almost 1 hour while you were hanging out with your friends, and then you make plans with me and never follow through and do not even have the decency to call or text to let me know about changing plans (not the first time).
I understand you are busy, I am busy, I know people who are far busier than you, but they do not treat their friends or other fellow human beings the way you treat me... The only difference between you and them is that they care and decent and you are not.
I can see clearly now that all of your excuses are bullshit. It is you, not me that have the problems. That is another eureka moment for me.
I hope you can find whatever you are looking for and deserved. I am out. I feel sorry for myself for wasting my love and energy on you. I decide not allow you to do this to me any more... No more bullshit coming from you and respect is what I am at least deserved.
I wish you luck.
