Thursday, October 29, 2009

Do I learn from this blogger or what?

"Do crave approval from everyone?

Does it bother you if someone doesn’t like you?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may be one of the millions of people suffering from the disease to please. It’s not treatable by drugs or medication, but instead, by a healthy dose of truth. The disease to please stems from many things, including a diminished sense of worth.

I suffered from this disease as a child. When I was 9 or 10, I would invite my friend Jimmy over to play. I desperately wanted him to like me, and I felt rather unlovable (my parents would constantly remind me how chubby I was, and make many jokes at my expense). So, I’d open my baseball card collection, and let him take his favorite cards. I worried that I wasn’t enough myself, and felt that giving him cards would make up for whatever I lacked. Of course, Jimmy liked getting free cards - but it never occurred to me that he actually liked me, too.

Maybe you can relate. But here’s the good news: Having everyone like you isn’t a requirement in life.

Happiness, or one’s level of fulfillment, isn’t based on the approval of others. Approval isn’t required for success in this life. In fact, the more you contribute to the world, the more disapproval you’ll likely encounter. The larger your spotlight and the greater your success, the more dislike you’ll probably experience. Oprah spoke to this point in one of her New Earth Podcasts (Chapter 6, to be exact).

A true sense of worth, of course, can’t be found in the opinions of others. It can only be found within you, as you learn to love the unlovable within you." (by Davey Wavey from Break the Illusion Blog).

Sadness

Why am I so sad today? Is it because of B or of D?
I think it is the email from D. I was being nice to D in his situation with C (A), and things took a different turn. Am I ever falling for him? Is he the person of my dream or just another frog I have to kiss to find a prince? I think I am feeling this way because of the ideas of being turned down and it caught me by surprises since he was the one that came on to me, so strong. Is he afraid of falling or am I just not worth his try? Whatever it is, he hurts my feeling and I am sad.
With B, I do not know what it is any more. Whatever our status is, I am not OK with it. I will talk to him soon to see what it is and where it is heading. I hate being unknown. When he left for Japan, things are not the same. Is he just as confused as me or he just waits for me to be tired out all the whole thing and call it off? Who is B anyway? What do I know about him?
I do not like myself in this situation at all. It makes me weak. I want to go back to my normal self, the one before all of these relationship ordeals.
Please help me to get back to my happy self.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Warren Mackenzie

Last Saturday, I finally found two more pieces by Warren Mackenzie. I will bring them home on Nov. 9.
What about his work that fascinating me? It is because it is so real and emotion, just like every thing else I love in this life. I can imagine his hands, his concentration, his emotion when he sat there in his studio throwing clay... and then, a piece came to life and then came to a household and then used... That is what he wants, his art to be used in daily life by real people.
Last week, I found a piece by Janet Leach. I have been googling (is it a word?) about this artist and fascinating what I came across. I found a letter she wrote to Warren, now at Smithsonian. I will do more reading about those potters... How fascinating, right?

Patrick Kemal Pryor

Love his art, love his mind, love his personality and love his friends...
Patrick will move away in less than 2 weeks. A lost note right there in this song...
Good luck and keep in touch...

Widen a circle of friends...

What amazing the last two week was!
Let see how many people I met and still keep in touch.
It is 10.
I met 4 new friends at Patrick Pryor's party and 6 with Brian L at another get together...
You know who you are... and thanks.

Nguyen Ngoc Tu

I want to write something about Tu, but at the end, I can not. There is so much to write about.
I will visit this idea in the future.
NNT has been one of my favorite writers. Her words are simple, real, emotion and her stories are always inspired and passionate... Reading hers put me in a zen like state and calm me down.
OK, enough for now, back to reading NNT...

Time flies...

It has been almost a month since I visit my blog again. It is not that I was busy, but my mind was occupied and the idea of clarify some ideas then write them down terrify me.
I read Davey's blog today. He wrote about taking a week sabbatical from his partner. I think that is a strange idea, but somehow intriguing. I am trying the idea now. I will observe to see how it goes.
Peace...